My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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