that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
they're like a gay fantastic four
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
