Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
