where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
