hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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