so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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