I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize