no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
