return my video game
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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