it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
