Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
two words: eviction party
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
