I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
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