Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
