SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
