i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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