I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
