Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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