Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I think people are normalizing furries
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
