Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize