i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
