Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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