I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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