yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
