Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
