New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
