Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
