Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
