So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
