Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
