so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
