woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
