i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
