You really coming over, don't trick.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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