i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
