Don't make out with my wife yet
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
