What a fucking waste of an outfit
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
