Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
