I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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