This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
