i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's blow job season.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
