i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize