im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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