how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
