yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
