We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
