Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
