You were right. It hurts to walk today.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
