omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
