im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
