Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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