Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
