do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
