They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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