worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
