I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
