I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
