Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
