Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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